Art+Piece

My masculinity is from a combination of my brother and the sports that I play. Growing up I always played rough with my brother and two cousins, since we all lived in the same house. We always played violent games of tag, hide and seek, wrestling, nerf war, and pillow fights. We also played football, basketball, soccer, dodge ball, and kickball. I always found myself slower or weaker than my cousins and brother as we grew older. I admired how strong and fast they were, and I wanted to be just like them. As I learned that I probably couldn’t, because of the way that males and females are built, I decided to join a bunch of team sports at my school, so that I could play against girls and come out victorious. Sports in general for boys and girls are rough and competitive, which is what I loved. I was never the type of girl to sit on the sidelines and do my hair, nails, or makeup. I loved getting dirty and playing rough. Still till this day I would rather play in the mud than stay inside. I definitely think that playing sports all my life has had the most influence on my lack of femininity. As I grew older, I started to explore more of my feminine side, and now, I love getting my nails and hair done. But growing up playing rough with my brother and cousins, along with participating in sports, I feel that I will always prefer doing more masculine things than most girls. For me, its to prove that girls can do anything guys can do, but also to prove to myself that I can do anything I set my mind to. First off, Marji doesn’t play sports or have any real siblings to relate to. All she has are her parents and her maid. She grows up trying to find herself, just like me. But for her, she has no influence other than her parents and kids at school. Her feminine and masculine influence come from her parents by what they do and how they act. Therefore the major difference between Marji and I, is that I had an older sibling that I could look up to, whereas, she only has her parents. Her sense of identity is weird to her, because she herself does not even know who she is, because she is basically just following what everyone else is doing, to feel accepted or challenged.